Is My Blog Anti-Feminist?

Is it? I’ve been wondering about this for a while: actually from the first moments of its conception I have been thinking about whether or not there is something to be said about my blog being anti-feminist.

Feminism and I don’t go a long way back. I am aware of it of course and because I am a woman it is always there. I don’t actively avoid it or anything but I have also never been especially passionate about it either. I care about women’s rights, human rights and what is right. I don’t know where that places me on the feminist spectrum.

In university I attended some lectures on feminist readings of certain books.

The name of the site is myboyfriendisinIndia, as you obviously are aware if you’re here and you’re reading this. I was in Amsterdam when I thought of the name and though it came to me really out of nowhere, it was no doubt the result of much thinking in the days beforehand. I had wanted something uncomplicated, something which I felt was memorable and something which would remind me why I’d felt compelled to start in the first place.

Had I agonised over the name I know I would never have began to write at all. It just needed to be good enough for me to get my domain sorted. As a perfectionist it was hard to accept a good enough name but I was also able to zoom somewhat out of the naming process to see the larger picture of what I wanted to create. And so it came into being with the name it has.

If I were to examine my blog, analyse it even from a feminist perspective, I might say that what it does is to place my experience – the female experience – second. The very name of the site implies that what I will write, what you will find on the site, will be shaped by the actions of my boyfriend and the fact that he is in India. It has come into existence because of him and what I write is framed by his absence. In fact many of my posts are named and found their form out of the fact that his being away had made me think.

Look at the categories of my site too: while he was in India and while he’s in Paris. Why haven’t I written while I’m in Ireland, while I’m in Paris? Sure it might have happened out of an unconscious desire to keep a kind of stylistic resemblance to the title of the site but might it also reveal more than I had thought about myself?

Could it be read as someone who doesn’t think that their experience deserves to be front and centre of something that they themselves have created? Even though it is very much about me and what I feel to write about, I have shifted the initial focus of it all onto my boyfriend.

In university I often found myself wondering about the need for these different ways of reading and asking myself if I would ever have cause to use them or apply them to my own life. I understand now that while this post doesn’t need writing and while my blog could exist perfectly without interpretation, it is also worthwhile to take a step, not back but to the side and to ask yourself what your creations say about yourself.

This blog post, for example, tells me I think too much.




  1. Well, now your older blog posts have made it to the top of my “to read” list, so well done. Of the ones I’ve read, I have to say that I think your blog is honest and reflective and I think honesty is at the heart of feminism. To me, feminism is about being who you are regardless of society’s rules and expectations, and regardless of your gender. As a child of a first-generation feminist and a (gasp) introvert in America, it has taken me half a century to come to terms with the fact that I’m happiest at home keeping house for my family. But true feminism means it’s all right for me to do that. I’m not rejecting my right to work outside the home but embracing my right to be housewife-y if that’s what I want.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Also, it occurs to me that if a man wrote a blog with a similar perspective he wouldn’t have to explain or apologize. Only a psychopath would not be affected by a partner who was away for an extended time. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I agree with you that feminism means being comfortable to express that femininity – and personality – in any way that you feel you wish to. The problem for us women I think is that there are so, so many negative connotations to what we may have been or want to be that we can end up always second guessing ourselves. Ultimately, you’re right, it should be a PERSONAL decision, not necessarily a gendered decision as to what you want from your life!!! Thanks for the compliment and for engaging with the blog the way you have! I hope you enjoy some of the other posts 🙂

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  2. Uhh, your blog is titled *MY* boyfriend is in India – it’s your perspective on things. You shouldn’t feel a pressure to be feminist or modest or any of the dogmas out there in order not to be offensive or withholding. This is you. This is your writing. He’s lucky he gets any mention in the blog name at all! 😛

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  3. I don’t think it’s anti-feminist at all.
    I only realized I was a feminist when the orange lord took over here in the States, and I’m still learning what exactly it means. Basically I think feminism is all about what each individual woman wants or needs. So, in short, I don’t really think there’s any wrong way to be a feminist or support feminism. (that being said, I fully recognize that there is extreme feminism, which I am not a fan of, just as I’m not a fan of any sort of extreme-ism, but I hope you get my drift).

    Liked by 3 people

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